don't ever question my . . . . .. . . . .

two sleepless night.. The feeling of my heart being weak ( really weak , not just that emo weak ) .

Was caught surprise in a what I think came too randomly , not that I've have not expected one to think that way. But the fact that when one pop's up the issue all of the sudden, you just don't know what to react.

But I would say , I really hope such awkward situation wouldn't happen again . I doubt it would knowing the fact that I've would soon have to get things clear , knowing that things isn't going in a good direction.

每人手中都有一张底牌

a status I've posted on fb yesterday . And I couldn't agree more on it .

It's up to you guys to think about it, but that's what I really think....

Wasn't really in a mood but couldn't get one to talk too, so decided to just write it out here..

Peace once asked me recently, today , how you are treating me isn't different from how you are treating her?

And I really wonder why is there a need to pop such question?

What kind of an answer would one like to hear?

As the saying goes, truth isn't always a nice thing to listen

Let me get my stand right, everyone knows who I've cared about ... It isn't about to compare who I've cared more . And if one would have questioned if I've had fallen for another even during my courtship days. I would say , you are no one to judge.

 Unless the other half feel the same too..

If that's the case , what is there for me to say? Perhaps I'm just not your Mr Right? * i doubt you would feel that too *

I might not be the best, nor good , but I know what's the limit, and there are things, I've always set my STAND FIRM, and that includes falling for someone while in a relationship.. nuff said

Feelings come and go, this we gotta admit

But I always believe , if its meant to be, it will always be... might sound stupid but its just my thinking

And this is the reason why I don't take crush seriously... Don't tell me you haven had a crush? 

It's been a month full of " controversial" . I have people talking behind , I have people making assumptions and what's not.

There isn't a 100% when it comes to relationship

Our criteria in choosing our partners would change when you think you found your right one

Me too used to say that I would never fall for a chinese ed :) 

does this sentence sounds so wrong to you?

What if the one you love isn't the one you cared most ? Or vice versa?
What say you?

Sounds conflicting isn't it?

Those reading my blog would only be my circle of friends that I mix with often..

And so what if I woke up early in the morning to fetch a friend of mine just for classes?

So what if I took half day off just to pick one back after college?

So what if I offered to go all the way down just to pick someone up cause it's just so late?

Is there a problem in me doing that?

I've said this a thousand times, the will to do or not , only depends on how we set our priority . If I've set my priority the same to anyone of you, than you too would have the same treatment

But just accept the fact that we do have a part of us just for that someone .. 

DON'T BULLSHIT that why so sudden treating someone so good ...

How I've treated this friend of mine all these while, I guess there is not a need for me to explain? And I've said the same thing too , if you are in a relationship with someone today, than of course you don't expect me to treat u the same as how I'm now. * it's just my principle that there are times where we need to draw a line knowing that one have the other partner .

Think about it, we often give two bloody different answers to two different sexes for 2 bloody same question without second thought? so why make a big fuss?

and we are talking about a non ordinary friend of mine. A person which i used to talk about almost everything, i would say EVERYTHING , pardon me for using the word used too . Cause ................... don't really wanna talk about it

And the million dollar question for most of you reading , so have you fallen for this friend of yours?

* is that important for you guys? as if it would make a difference ?

p.s not having a good feeling on where this is heading too

if I played my cards , it's the day I think I would lose everything

  

lost the feeling of being "young"

Its been a long time since I've last updated this dead blog of mine .

so what happened recently? Too many , and basically that's the reason why I'm blogging now at half pass 3 in the midnight


Lets start with our random hari raya trip, a last min trip made possible with people like Jeremy XD

We believe in form.. ada form holiday , don't need planning early early mcm keyboard warrior ... oopssss later orang terasa haha

jetty Pulau Pangkor, super crowded. what to expect during the raya holidays

 a must take picture, cause it's her first time stepping foot at the famous Ipoh dim sum

 super like playing watersport. kinda tiring too

at the new jetty :) for lunch

first group photo .. one of the very few ( mcm only got one actually )

other pictures would upload at fb ASAP ....

extended the planned 2days 1 nite trip with another night up at genting highland.. and luck wasn't on our side this time ( just trying to console myself ) cause all room is fully booked ... * PUBLIC HOLIDAY* and no one would be optimistic enough to drive up hoping for a room.. my fren.....

but $ solve it .. let's not talk about $ can we?

it seems it is not appropriate for me to upload this at fb, so i shall just upload it here..

a "friend" of hers joined us for the genting nite.. or should i put it this way, it was for the sake of him & her did i gave in with staying over a nite at the ever so crowded highland..

anyhow , glad that everyone enjoyed themselves.

taken at genting before we get out for our live band.. and sorry for the LOUSY blur pic, what can we expect from an IPHONE FRONT camera XD

super like this pic, even made it as my fb profile pic ( sudah tukar la now )

and there's another pic i like too, the rempit pic, but photo not with me....

final pic before leaving.. just to prove that we are at GENTING :)

would not want to talk much about the trip , afterall sudah so long.. what's important is the dark girl in the pic above enjoyed her trip..

enough about that...

lets get back to life at the moment ..

hows life been for you guys?

me? many things have happened.

really many... at times I really felt like shouting out loud, but again who will be there to listen?

it seems that there isn't anyone now that i can poured out everything in my mind...... as much as I hate to admit , even the one that used to be isn't the same today . . .

life is just getting complicated these days..

so much have changed , and it isn't the changes I've would have expected nor wanted

those were the good old days.....

Lets talk about work ... as expected this month would definitely be a quiet month, but seriously did not expect it to be as quiet as it is..

many things to think about...

and one thing that worry me most now is, if the one day really came, how would I explain? oh my oh my, guess I've should not have made it that way from day one... sighhhhhhhhhhh ( ignore this part , only myself would know what i meant )

Sometimes I've really wonder what future holds for me, in my working life or i should put career life.. knowing that the field and job that I'm doing now isn't something that I've can make a living for the rest of my life.. But at the moment, this is my only choice, till the day my dad calls it a day for his working life ( which would not be in the near future, as he cannot afford to retire so soon ) .  by than, how old would I be?

What would my future plans be? start looking for a job when I'm 30? starting from ground again?

Not that I could have a choice , but at this very moment , I know that only by doing what I'm doing now would do best for my family....

And that's is why everyday i only think of making $ finding more ways to make $ , cause I'm not born in a financially healthy family. ( glad that these days are better with forum n fb contributing a few k income )

People talk about the foreign exchange market. I've given it a tried, and I would say it's not my type of income .....

I've said this a thousand times and again I state my stand that we live in a realistic and materialistic world....

As much as one hate to admit, money can do you wonders.. I've gotta agree that money can't buy you health but other than that . Money can possibly buy you almost everything..

and yes , when I used the word almost everything , it include Happiness and love..

Don't start bullshitting to me that love is blind and what's not...

Don't really feel like talking about it............. but think again, and answer honestly

Today , I would say among all my peers , i've think that most of them would be very envy of my life now . But like what people always say , you see me good i see you good...

And in life, there's always a price to pay... I've really paid a heavy price , to be frank , 4 years in college and i would say I've live a plain college life..

Now that I've graduated, my life seems to be a daily routine, doing the same things over and over again..

Waking up in the morning , getting to shop , back home for bath, off to cafe to upload photo at night...

In between , calling peace out for brunch or dinner .... that's it..

I've lost the feeling of being "young" .. Doing what people my age are doing .. meeting new friends, courting girls. or lets put it in a more not serious way instead of courting, may i use the word flirting .. and etc.. the only thing i have more than them is the freedom to get off day for vacation ( but who on earth would go for a vacation if you know you are on a loss making month )

Many say I'm too depended on my other half ( would use the word my other half, as what many think ) .  I admit that fact . . But let's just be fair that it isn't only because I'm too dependent but it's who else can I depend on? I would say for the last 5 years . I've got no one close that I can depend on.. My circle of life is just that small . Or can I used the word I'm just a guy that is used to be alone.. I go to the cafe alone every night to online, I don't really mind going alone actually, cause I'm just going to work and jaga my working fb, so alone isn't a big issue for me, you can see me sitting down from 9pm to 1 am .. just staring at the com....

And having someone who is always there for you during your good and bad times especially with such a bad temper guy like me, a one kind guy ( like what my mom always tell her ) don't mean the kindness kind ... What else can I asked for?

I've had enough of lecture by ppl telling me what to do and giving me advice which its obvious enough, I don't need ppl telling me that my mom is a female... But don't you yourself go through my situation?

Or maybe because your other half isn't as tolerate as mine? And therefore the blame would always be on me?

I've given up asking ppl to put themselves in my shoe, cause they wouldn't know the things running in mind.. Being the only sibling that is able to bring income for my family , since my second sister still has 2 years before graduating and this simply means not only she would not be contributing to the family economy but would also be helping in some expenses.. Now that the her uni is shifting soon. Mom would be starting to ......................................... about buying another cheap car.. and how cheap its also a commitment.. of spending another few hundreds each month...

And not forgetting about my first sister ( the one standing beside my mom )

nothing special from the pic isn't it?

but my bunch of friends would know that she is actually a " special child or we put it as a kanak -kanak istimewa .. basically her mentality would be nothing more than a 10 year old child... Now that she's 26 or 25 . but when comparing it to others of her type, I guess we are consider very lucky, as she can do household chores , and don't need any major attention for her daily routine.. just that her mentality like a child would never changed..

Have you ever see your mom looking dissapointed? when you asked her to transfer her savings to another longer term savings like insurance ? That's what I've gone through... The disappointed look in her when she told me that by saving like this , 5 years later she would be able to get herself and my elder sister a holiday in Sydney.. And even asking for my assurance, whether me asking her to transfer her small saving towards the insurance plan that i was proposing back than was a good choice...

At that very moment, I really tried hard to control my tears from falling...

At the age of almost 54, she still gotta save for 5 years before she can afford to go for a vacation at Sydney..

so how do you expect me that someone can really feel what am I going through.. It's family background that pushes me to do what am I doing today..

And to those who think that I'm making big money today , you are so wrong..

And as a matter of fact, I am only surviving on a 1k pocket money ( i would used the word pocket money ) every month that my mom gives me.. and at times, even the 1k also i won't take, if I have some extra income through personal COD and etc..

Be it making a 6k benchmark profit or a 5 figure profit , 1k is still my pocket money ( but it isn't important , as i've always make it a point to have my own COD profit ) so think again if u feel that u are envy of my life... I've got nothing except driving around in a bank owned 160k car which again I would put it in a way that when I know dad is going out, I would definitely leave the car at home, cause how good am I in selling or pulling customer online, it is still my dad that is working under the sun ( those who came to my shop know why it is working under the sun ) .  And i think no one deserve driving more than my dad cause he has been working for 40 years and the only 2 new car he drove was a 91 year accord and even than later he passed the ride to my mom and he himself settle down with a iswara..

* but even though he kinda like the Nissan Teana ( but i reli cannot accept the uncle looks of the ride ) So sorry XD it's still a Korean 

How many of you need to worry about your parents not able to make ends meet ?

It's because since young I've spent too much time at my shop and I've know the status of my family . and that's the reason why I ...................................................................................

think i should call it a day for blogging, cause its already 4.30 am...

* not to say that i could sleep now, just that i don't really wanna talk about it..

nitez

p.s call me maybe?

It's been two months since I've last blog . Been a really busy month, can't even upload all the photo's in time and etc.

Cause recently a little busy with my facebook working account..

It's already half pass 3 in the morning, as tired as I am now, but I think I've gotta blog my thought now. ( dam, gotta wake up at 9.30 tomorrow )

The month of March, really gives me mix feeling.

Super happy to have finally cross the 5 figure profit in one month thxs to my online biz through forum and also Facebook ( which have manage to increase my customer base )

But it was also the month of March which I've think would make things clear?
*March 22, a day which i thought would be celebrated not in a grand way, but i thought we could have bring back some good old memories.

but it seems i was wrong, wasn't a really good day to start off with

and today's incident, I think we both have enough.

things have been 'hanging' since last year , and i dun know how to describe our relationship, but as far as i am concern. I've never once use the word ex. I would rather say your name , if one is asking who am I with.

No doubt, you have been tolerating alot, but at times, i cannot take it when things like today happen. its only a simple question and all i need is a simple answer, and this isn't the first time i get frustrated and irritated cause of your reply.

As much as we hate to admit, but the 'spark' is definitely isn't there as it used to be.

There's definitely something missing..

Perhaps the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder would makes things better?

Perhaps this would be a better alternative for you and me, as in this way, you will no longer need to tolerate as who am I to criticize, complain ,order and etc..

I used to say when things stated 'hanging' that i would want to go all out and have more freedom, but yet again, I couldn't . Somehow, there's just something that seem pulling me from it.

Perhaps this time, I would ?

our recent genting trip

thxs for all the memories, we've been to China, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia and sorry for not being able to reach the 5 countries that i;ve always wanted to acheive before reaching the age 21

* u noe the only 2 stuff i've wanted to achieve before 21 is to hit the 5 figure income at least once, and also this 5 countries

reli miss the time we have in China. and real sorry for not being able to go for our China trip this feb, i knw we both have high hope onto this, but really sorry as financial didnt allow me :(

really thanks for staying through good and bad times..

random thought of mine

Just some random thought..

a pic taken from today's newspaper.

it's just an ugly reality of the diff in wealth between the filthy rich and the one's living in poverty.

we here people saying times are bad, we here people saying this and that, nothing positive , but the simple fact of we still see more and more new cars and some even luxury cars on the road.

So if you ask me is time really that bad? I would rather stay neutral than answering.

One thing I believe that is when stocks or shares comes tumbling down, we know that we have people losing their savings, in such crisis . But one thing we got to understand is WEALTH ITSELF is TRANSFERRED not DESTROYED!

And I really hate people that comes to me and say , I want to be more financial stable by another few more years

But at the mean time did not take any action to increase their current income.. Talk is cheap..

If you want something, but don't even dare to take the first step. who are you to talk about financial freedom ?

Just a random thought of mine.. :P

And another random thought is how difficult is life is for those without a transportation.

Perhaps our country should come out with an even cheaper car ( like in Indonesia ) for those that really need to travel to work

* thought of blogging this , cause today while leaving house to shop saw a neighbour waiting for bas in his formal wear.

halfway, i remember forget to take shop key, so i when back to take the key, and when i come out, i still see him waiting for the bas..

Imagine being under the hot sun for so long.. Sigh, too bad the public transport ( bus business ) isnt a real competitive business especially for routes like housing area.. so theres no other option but to wait for a long period of time before the next bas comes :(

Lets talk business.

What business in your opinion have reach the DOG stage in the BCG Matrix

The first thing that comes to my mind would be the grocery shop business..

haha dun ask me why, but today got form to blog about it ..

we dont see much grocery stalls these days right?

unless its a shophouse ( where shop owner stays behind ) so open just to cover some electricity bill

we more and more retailers like Tesco & Giant opening in each new neighbourhood. how can a small company compete.

Forget about Giant, if we are talking about the Klang Valley itself.. 99 Speedmarket itself would pose such big treat towards smaller grocery stalls..

:)

one more which suppose to be would be the postage business, where IT plays such important role these days, i wonder how many of us still uses the stamp to post , its all e-mail these days.

But lucky to the growing trend of internet buying, such company like pos malaysia can still manage to survive with its courier company Pos Laju. which would gain quite big share of the postage market due to it's cheap price :)

* talking about pos laju. betul sibeh lousy.. posted something from KLANG to Pandamaran ( KLANG ) also 3 days also cnt receive.. imagine how bad is their service ..

dun ask me why din cod haha, customer dun wan..

kla... if not crapping.. chaoz

2 weeks of MIA

Ntg special happen other than my trip to Johor Premium Outlet * bangga*

But many small small and also IMPORTANT stuff..

And it's already early Wednesday morning, and gotta settle and give an answer to a friend of mine by Friday night.

Life is often full of decision making isn't it?

And while blogging i am listening to Andy Lau's video

and one thing I just heard while blogging was

Falling is one of the route we gotta go through to the SUCCESS road.

What say you?

True enough. But for how many times?

How many times should we fall?

How many times can we afford to fall?

If you fall twice , and dare not take the 3rd attempt, you might have regret it later in life.

That's just life isn't it?

When I am out with people I used to mix with, or people that I've known during schooling days , when we just go out for a normal outing.

They would consider me as Ho seh , free , no need work and living the most enjoyable lifestyle comparing to them.

So how true?

But I always believe you see me good , i see you good.

I would say, I am not , it depends on individual, today, if you are always with the same group , you might feel earning 2 to 2.5k as a fresh grad would put you into a good position , not too bad for a fresh grad.

But when I am out , mixing with people that have earned their first pot of gold in their early twenties.

I always look back at myself and say , take a look at the world out there, we have people earning the 5 figure digit, and they are just 2 or 3 years older than you.

And that is why I am always thinking of $$$$

Call me $ minded, but me, I am constantly thinking of a method to earn $.

Today , we see a good opportunity in making a fortune, but we do not have $ , you just see your chance of earning your first pot of gold flying off like that.

That's why I believe, CASH is King.

Especially in the coming few years.

Be prepared to faced the next GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS

and opportunity to invest at a dirt cheap price would come to those that have cash in hand instead of assets tied up in properties which is still under loan.

Don't bullshit me when you tell me money isn't everything.

You can say, you don't put see money as a main priority at your age.

One thing people must understand is

What you are today , is based on the decision you made last time

&

It works vice versa

Where and how far you want to be in life in the next half year or year would be based on your decision today.

So do not complain that some is living a more enjoyable lifestyle.

Today, if we were to make a choice, a choice that not many dare to make or commit, we might be one of the better ones among our peers.

But its rather disappointing seeing how little effort people would put , but at the same time expecting a good income.

And it's even more saddening when you see people around you that rather spent their money on short term enjoyment rather than putting it to good use.

It's this the mentality of a young adult?

I am not expecting myself to be a millionaire in the near future, but I do hope that I would be able to have a steady income by the age of 23 or latest 25. And time flies , my friend. 3 years would just come and go in a blink of an eye.

Again, might be because some come from a better financial background family, so $ isn't really that important. All they need is $ for their own expenses, nothing to worry about their parents financial and etc..

Why is there a need to spend everything you earn today?

Today, if you are going to spend money off like water when you are only earning just enough, and thinking its a so big thing.

I am telling you, there are still lots of better stuff out there that we haven experience, or maybe i shud say WE CANNOT afford to experience..

call it a day first.

took 2 days to finish this post..

missing

Time flies.

November is coming to an end :(

The other day while on our way back from BB Plaza , me and jeremy were recalling those days where we used to go Pyramid, Time Square with a bunch during our schooling days.

Where we would all just ask our parents to fetch us to the ktm station..

I've lost count when was the last time i step onto the ktm

the good old days ( as quoted by jere )

days when we take a bus ( either by school trip or personal trip ) up to genting, seeing those greenish divider, gives us the hint that we are reaching soon..

so happy to see it, and later sit the cable car up all the way to the top...

nowadays?

3am nothing do, take wallet and car key, plus make a few calls, and the next half an hour.. there we are sitting at first world starbucks..

just another random short update :)

kao hao finally came to get his white city to change the plate number

we have the same color, same font hehe

KAWAN ma hehe. another white coming too, but

not now, cause recently operasi manyak kao lat :(

( reli love this pic )

next cny , will be seeing 5 white car at jl house..

cny cny cny .... wanna listen to cny song liao.. da ri zi...

memories :)

reli hope can fly to china next feb for vacation.. still deciding between 2 place in china, or maybe Taiwan ( not a fan of Taiwan ).

prefer china, cause of the view...

reli miss my time there :(

reli wanna go China for vacation

i reli wanna go :(

I WANT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its 4 am in the morning and here i am blogging, just because I've just finish reading Miss Rae blog :P

Anyway before I talk about that, lets just briefly go through what we just did just now

Went Shanmuga at 11 pm, left there at 11.30 for so called ghost hunting adventure trip to Morib, than all the way to Sepang Gold Coast ( almost kena halau by the guard )

And ended up in dunno what type of kampung road which was so freaking dark..

And we can even see aeroplane landing, and by the time we know it, we finally came out from NILAI

INTI COLLEGE @ NILAI

ended using the highway back to Klang..

3 hours trip... :)

And yea , back to topic, decided to write a short blog ( even though my eyes is trying to close )

cause its been 3 weeks since I last blog..

So here's a short update for YOU!!!!

:p don't ask me when was the last time we met, as i seriously lost count :(

now you know how busy you are , but of course, i recall you telling me on the phone once that you would seldom come out cause you already have a bf .. *not sure if u recall yourself saying that*

life's good for me? i would put it by saying , nice to see....

but it depends on how we look at it :)

might be because each of us have been exposed to many diff type of people , in my school days and college peers, might be considered good :)

But comparing to some other's that i've know out there, a year or 2 older only but is way way richer and successful..

But no use comparing :P

i am sure each of us have our own good and bad.. aka problems..

like me, also jealous you get to go Bali for your 'honeymoon' hehe

And just FYI u owe me a meal cause you ffk me the other day , when i went down to setapak!!!!!

So how's life for you? other than being stuck in college for another 2 years. any work? Don't tell me you would just study for another 2 years?

But your field, would definitely be giving you a comfortable income when u started working, that time don't forget this friend here :P

will talk more when we meet k? * ehem * looks like someone is cash rich recently? banyak duit je macam mau invest hehe

And I think you look up too much on me liao.. Think my current is the limit, don't see myself earning bigger bucks in the near future..

unless ( having a plan in mind , hopefully if things goes as it plans ) than HO SEH liao hehe....

random pic taken at The Beer Factory :)

Kla, my eyes really wanna close liao...

A little busy day ( although many say I don't have to work ) , but again as I said, each people have their own method of working..

And as the saying goes, Work smart not Hard :P